The adventures of Miss Lopez

Nine months since I last wrote a blog. Seems like an eternity and many things happened since then—mostly negative and lots and lots of stress. Dealing with my university was always a hassle and administrative stuff in Iceland was constantly complicated. I will say, living in Iceland and going there on vacation are two very different things. Part of the stress was writing my thesis in four months, but I have been trying very hard to concentrate on positive things. Trying to forget all the hardship and the lack of collaboration from my university and just stick to I GOT THIS, and I GRADUATED. In the scheme of things, it doesn’t matter, only the result does. My thesis advisor saw how disappointed I was about the whole experience, and she told me to be proud that I managed to be the first of 225 students to do the program in one year instead of two. She is the major reason, I was able to do it in that time frame, she was always behind giving me tight deadlines, so I didn’t lose focus. That also came with lots of work, some friends can attest to me working 12 straight hours on my thesis, every day of the week. I wanted to give up many times and once again, my friends kept saying to me: “You got this!”. Without their encouragement, I would probably have called it quits. I have never left anything unfinished, and it scared me how often I thought of quitting. I would ask myself why am I doing this? I already have a master’s degree. What do I need to prove? But for some strange reason, no matter how much I cried about it, I kept writing until I finished. I was stressed until the very end, and I submitted my final corrections 3 minutes before the 4 am deadline. Two days later, my corrections were approved, and I officially graduated from the program of Coastal and Marine Management. I am thankful for all the professors who came from all over the world, to both receptionists always cheerful at UW were always willing to give a helping hand. To my colleagues that contributed to some amazing memories. Not all was bad. For instance, watching the Northern Lights for the first time all bundling up together at the beach in the early hours of the morning, to the snow fight for Alberto’s birthday party, to all the winter driving in horrible conditions headed to Reykjavik to catch an intermational flight, to the midnight sun bonfire. My village landscape was amazing. I loved the smell when I went to school in the morning. But what I miss the most is going to the swimming pool, I love the hot pools and got addicted to them.

I came home two and a half months ago, seems like ages ago since everything went quickly. I was really angry about my experience in Iceland. I am trying hard to get over it and think about the lovely things I experienced and the people I met. Slowly getting there even if sometimes, when someone tells me how much they would love to go to Iceland, my heart pumps. My mantra is to keep thinking about the positive aspects. Part of the anger was that my dream was to live in Russia, and I did not want to leave. I just succumbed to peer pressure and everyone’s angst about me being there when the invasion started. It was impossible to know then how bad my experience would be at UW. At the Northern Arctic Federal University (NARFU) in Russia, I was very welcome, and integration went smoothly, they had an international department that helped us quite a lot when we first arrived. There were lots of activities and everyone was very helpful, I guess, I was expecting something similar in Iceland, but that never happened. I want to thank Anna and Maria from NARFU for always being there for me. I have never met such nice people. I have to tell myself that when I decided to leave Russia, the pressure from everyone was high and there were lots of unknown factors that I could have not predicted. I will always have this regret of having left, I don’t know how to let go, maybe it’s just too soon.

It was nice to be back home after almost two years abroad. Like a friend said to me you wanted a challenge you got it. I often think about this. I sure did, maybe not as much as that, but heck, what an eventful two years it’s been. As my mom put it: you went to Russia and ended up living in 10 different countries in Europe. Was it a good experience? I like to think that good or bad, it’s still an experience in which I will learn from it. I still believe everything happens for a reason even if I still don’t know what it means. One day, I hope it will all make sense. I loved living in Russia, and I felt short-changed by leaving but life doesn’t always happen the way we want it to be.

Coming back was kind of hectic with finishing my thesis corrections, finding a place to live and buying a car. Once again, my mom was super helpful, and family and friends hosted me while I found a place to live in Saint-Jérôme (~60 km north from Montreal). I had already my job lined up and my starting date although I did push the date back a week later. I leased the first apartment I saw as it was exactly what I was looking for even if it was a bit pricier than I had planned. I love my place; I’m the first tenant and it’s nice to be back to living alone like a big girl! I am 48 after all. I love the peaceful, smaller city. I came here because after living in a small village of 1,500 people, I could not see myself living in a hectic city like Montreal. Of course, it would have made more sense since my family and friends live there, but at the end of the day, I am happy with my choice, I live 4 minutes from work, and I could walk there if I wanted to. I come home for lunch every day. Barely any traffic and I live 5 minutes’ walk from the lake and woods. I work for the school board and once again, I am helping with the integration of immigrants in the region. My experience is very welcome, and my bosses and colleagues are all very nice, I haven’t had such a nice work ambience in a long time, it’s great, especially after the year I had. It’s a good feeling to feel appreciated by your bosses. I don’t think my bosses in Montreal even knew what my tasks were, I never talked to the big boss as here, being a much smaller environment, I’m able to cross paths with her. I congratulated her on her 25^th anniversary and told her, it was quite an achievement and that I never would be in a place for so long and she replied: we need nomads like you as well. We need both. I was speechless, never had a boss acknowledge my being a nomad as a good thing. It’s nice change to have acknowledgement and my experience being recognized. This was a temporary 10-month contract, but I have already received a three-year extension. Despite my colleagues and making a difference in people’s lives, I don’t know how long I will stay. I will eventually need to decide regarding the future of my career, do I continue on this path, or do I achieve my career transition as I had planned when I started my new master’s. Last Spring, when I was still in Iceland, I applied to many job postings at the Coast Guard to work in the Arctic. Will see what 2024 has in store for me. I still can’t believe I have two master’s degree. My diploma is in the mail so hopefully, i’ll receive it soon. But for now, I need to rest and enjoy spending quality time with myself in my new loft.